So, You Think You Have A Problem

Huh, you've got a disorder which allows you to moan and complain all day, you say? Girl, please. There are women being suppressed, starved and enslaved elsewhere and you're upset because he didn't compliment your 'quirky' new hair-do?

Recently I've been hitting the books; and no, not those flimsy ones on fad diets and the likes. I'm talking about those big, ole dusty rocks sitting at the end of our nearly abandoned Libraries. I'm telling you, an hour or two browsing through pages as wrinkly and dull as the librarian's face and you'll feel like you've just been taken for a ride in the Doc's DeLorean. Back to the matter at hand - I was researching the psycological behaviour of humans through the ages (thrilling, I know) and you know what I found out? Nothing. So I went to the Guru of all things wonderful and utterly repulsive alike, Mr Google himself, and I asked him; "Why, good sir, do we humans complain so?" And he replied "Why, it is all down to science, my fair lady!" Wikipedia had me at 'neurology'. I decided to head down the more practical side of the Internet for the less educated and I happened to stumble across this gem of wisdom:

"I'm sure psychologists and psychiatrists have long, fancy terms for the "disorder" of complaining, but it really boils down to a choice, the choice to see the glass as half full, life as the beautiful thing it is, and your particular situation is not as bad as you portray. Are we so happy we have to bemoan it?" - Keith E. Renninson

Now, I really get this man and his way of seeing life. I was delighted to find that his article wasn't filled with complex words only a brain surgeon could understand. This brings me to the sole purpose of this prolix explanation - So, you think you have a problem.

Everywhere I turn, whether it be at parties, out shopping or any other public event, there will always be that one woman turning her nose up at everything and exclaiming things a little too loudly such as "Oh, how I despise the colour theme of this room. It gives me a migrane." However, they either just need a good slap back into reality or they really do have a disorder or syndrome. No, the women I want to point the finger at are the ones who publicise their problems every. Single. Day. Oh, Miss So-And-So is "h8in lyfe 2k11"? Okay, sure, we're here for you, As labelled 'friends' via Facebook, it is our duty to be a tight community, as it were. But did that certain friend of yours really have to comment asking 'WHY' you were upset? It just spirals on down into a dark pit of  emotional doom. The 'victim' tries to entice the online viewers with such comments as 'OH, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT' or 'DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I'LL BE OKAY. LEAVE ME BE.' It's bad enough reading the ordeal once, but it happens on a day to day basis. I don't know about you, but I don't want to come back home after a fair day of life to enter the world of depression So-And-So is experiencing once again. This doesn't just occur on Facebook. It happens at work, at college, on the bus. These people are everywhere, just waiting for the right moment to pounce and gain their reward of sympathy whilst bringing the happiest of people down.

Now, it's not just the girls; boys do it too, but in a very different way. They do not publicise their feelings on Facebook, they do not gain pleasure from the attention of peers, they aren't as frequent in moans and groans. But when they do lose their tether, all hell breaks loose. Their mood swing hits you like a bulldozer. Unfortunately for me, I'm one to take sympathy on the boys and their boyish problems. They don't use them for attention and admiration, like some ladies do. So, I have a selection of male buddies who I am always glad to help out any day/time of the week. But sometimes, things go a little too far. For example; a friend of mine once lost a chance with this girl he's had a 'crush' on since Primary. Okay, fine, so I expected crying, low self-esteem, and all the other typical symptoms. But when that girl who probably isn't even worth his time is the only conversation material we have going for a month, things get a little repetitive. And to round it all of, he drops a nice, big, juicy cherry on top full of "I'm a failure! I may just shoot myself into outer space! At least no one would miss me!" Um... Excuse me? Who's the most excellent friend and psychiatrist rolled into one? Ta-dah?

Being realistic here; you'll always know one or two human beings like this throughout your life. You may even become one yourself (God forbid). But always remember - that cup of yours? It'll always be half full or more. Unless it contains poison; in which case, pour it into a plant pot and blame the cat if your mother's favourite orchid perishes.